I’m new to the city and having new experiences.
And people are experiencing me.
There’s the bursting into tears amongst trusted friends when we all thought we were having a good time.
Ranging to heading to the supermarket on a high spending 400 bucks on food.
I don’t know if I was over shopping because when I’m high I like sex and shopping, or if grocery prices have become fucking insane.
On this afternoon with a full to overflowing trolley I reached two free check-out operators and exclaimed loudly “Who wants to serve me? Who’s having a lucky day? Going once, going twice….” Being quite extroverted and wanting to joke around at any opportunity.
Got a smile and brightened up their day.
No one sees the other side except for the Italian who’s been taking good care of me from time to time.
I’ve lived in the country my whole life and my mood swings were of no surprise to anyone and completely accepted.
As much as I’m enjoying this change, that’s something I miss.
My new boss had only known me for a few days and commented that I would be teary one minute, upbeat the next, then low energy again and there didn’t seem to be any external factors influencing my mood.
I told him – and I had had a beer at lunchtime so that may have influenced my candour, “You just don’t know which Ivy you’re going to get.”
He asked “How many Ivys are there? Are any of them dangerous?”
A few hours after that conversation I got the sack.
But and it’s not about that. I was bad at the job.
People were making excuses.
They didn’t want to buy these tickets to a show that they would not attend.
Someone said to me, “I don’t want to spend that money right now; I’m retiring and have bought a caravan.” I asked, “Are you going to be SAD? – See Australia and Die?”
But the excuses continued including “I can hardly afford groceries right now.”
I found myself saying “Are you trying to say no? It’s ok to say no, I won’t get angry.”
The people on the other side of the phone were really surprised, they were like “YES, NO, good luck with that! And take me off the list.”
At one point a telemarketer called me while I was telemarketing asking for $20 a month for the children and I said ‘no’ because it’s ok to say no.
I’m trying not to be a people pleaser anymore and sensing in others if they want to say no but can’t quite bring themselves to do so.
I want to always be a safe space where people can say not to reasonable things because I wish to be treated that way.
When a people pleaser stops saying yes to things that they don’t really want some relationships in their lives will fall apart.
They might even get divorced.
But yeah, no longer in paid employment.
I was considering becoming a delivery driver so that the random crying can take place in the privacy of my own car.
It’s not clear if the crying is due to metal illness or just usual break up stuff when I hear the wrong song.
Office work for me at this time is not the best thing.
I do however have skills that will allow me to do computer work from home.
I am a former journalist who is cut off from the world of news because I am too lazy to fix my aerial and have been streaming shows and watching You Tube.
The Italian was at my flat recently and there was a bit of sexual tension between us.
As ‘The Bad Touch’ (lyric’s include “me and you baby ain’t nothing but mammals, let’s do it like they do on the discovery channel.”) popped up I was embarrassed and joked around asking if he was trying to tell me something.
He said, “It’s your algorithm.”
He then had to fill me in on this breakdancing Olympics thing.
He seemed pissed off, but I think she’s a bloody legend!
He was like “She took that spot away from a female competitive break dancer who deserved that spot at the Olympics.”
I personally feel like a dance off’s charm is that it appears to be spontaneous, the only judges are the crowd and there’s no prize except for bragging rights.
I was like “I don’t know of any professional female break dancer who’s coming forward saying that they missed their chance to competitively breakdance at the Olympics.”
It seems to me to be a victimless crime.
Like creating a new identity by making up a new email address and buying a $5 sim for a new phone number so you can get $40 worth of free food from Doordash.
I’m struggling to buy groceries now too.
Doordash is the biggest food delivery business in the world with a sixty percent market share.
While it’s founder and CEO became a billionaire at the age of 36 the United Nations has criticized the company for ripping off it’s employees to the point where they work full time but still rely on charities to get by.
Tony Xu was born in China as Xu Xun and emigrated to America as a four-year-old with his parents.
He got his business idea for Doordash after washing dishes at the restaurant where his mum worked in what appears to be a manifestation of The American Dream.
He is reported to make significant contributions to various charities, but it is not clear to me of they happen to be the same charities that provide his drivers with food from time to time because they can’t afford to load up a trolley with $400 worth of groceries and joke around at the check-out.
It was the United Nations Children’s Fund that called me that day asking for $20 a month to help the children.
Perhaps if the UN was able to bring in laws that made it illegal for a business model to exist where Tony Xu is a billionaire while almost Twenty Thousand employees can’t easily afford three meals a day the children of Doordash employees wouldn’t need my $20 a month.
Although I don’t think that’s where the UNICEF money goes, just trying to make a point.
It’s quite strange that this phenomenon exists where billionaires cause people that they are responsible for to rely on charity while contributing to other charities.
Meanwhile the full amount of money pledged by the people being called by telemarketers who are better salespeople that I to ‘help the children’ does not go directly to the children.
I was being paid.
The man who called me from UNICEF was being paid.
We were working in an office that had its own expenses.
It’s a scam.
Xu Xun changed his name to Tony because he liked to watch the 80’s to early 90’s sitcom ‘Who’s the Boss?’ staring Tony Danza who’s name on the show is also Tony.
The show is about a high-powered divorced businesswoman who employs a retired professional athlete to live with her and help raise her son.
The work that he does and the emotional support he provides to her and her son are valuable and essential for Angela to continue to be the successful woman that she wants to be.
He’s quite a fit and handsome Italian man, she still looks good for her age and after having a child and there’s much sexual tension.
At the end of the series, we never know if they ended up together or not.
But they did hook up.
Over and over and over again.
And it wasn’t just about the sex it was the fellatio which I thought was an Italian word but is actually Latin.